If you love someone with chronic illness such as MECFS, Long Covid, MS, all forms of arthritis, Lupus, Lyme Disease, fibromyalgia, EDS, and so many others of equal importance, you may have noticed they don’t hear the affirmations they need to hear with any regularity. Sometimes they never hear what each person afflicted with disease of any kind needs to hear: your suffering is real and I’m here for you. Medical gaslighting is very real for folks in the MECFS community & Long Covid community (and many others), resulting in medical neglect, psychologizing illness and basically alienating a particular subset of the disabled community at just about every turn. The disabled community is growing in number as covid continues to roil through lives. Immunocompromised folks are literally left to figure it out without community support. And then there’s the fact that ableist attitudes abound. And we chronic illness veterans inflict it on ourselves from time to time, asking more of ourselves than we know we should. Post exertional malaise or PEM is very real. Gaslighting yourself is easy when the medical hierarchy has ignored scores of post-infection onset chronic illness for decades.

This must be said: I can on the one hand identify the lack in response from the medical industry and on the other hand deeply appreciate those who are in healthcare who are pouring themselves out daily in effort to help people. My hat is off to you. When I speak of medical neglect, I’m talking about the institution and the system that has been set in motion by big money and patriarchal “ideals”. My dearest friend works in healthcare. I’m inspired by her and others like her enough to have dedicated a line of thank you cards geared especially for healthcare workers. So, if you’re encountering this as someone in the medical community, please know this is not an attack. It’s about facing ancient agendas and the damage afflicted by those agendas. This is an issue near and dear to my heart. It has taken courage to present this set in support of a hurting community. I hurt for how bombarded and overloaded the healthcare system is internally. And I hurt for those in the chronic illness communities who have been left behind by the healthcare system. It’s a strange but real juxtaposition.

Imagine the intersections that run through the chronic illness communities. Think about accessibility and bias. I’m one white woman with privilege navigating a sometimes unfriendly, often clueless healthcare system (in terms of my particular chronic illness). And compared to so many others, it’s been a cakewalk for me. While each and every one of us in the disabled community is experiencing medical trauma, there are those of us who are dealing with trauma on other fronts, in ways so many don’t experience. And we don’t need to hear positive, upbeat, hopeful mantras. We need to hear the real deal. We live it. We live in a sort of no man’s land of valid need that has gone long without real refuge or relief.

So. If you love someone with chronic illness (or you are someone with chronic illness), this 4×6 postcard set may open your eyes to what goes on in the hearts and minds of people suffering in silence. If you want to affirm their situation, validate their pain, and champion their value, the words in this set are a start.

And I’d love to hear how it goes and what you experience with these cards, especially if you, too, are a citizen of the badlands. I’m setting the cost of these 6 postcards at $1.43 because it’s what I want to say to folks in the trenches supporting the disabled and it’s what I want to say to the disabled: I love you. And thank you for being there.